5 reasons to visit the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile this week in DFW

Oh, I'd love to drive an Oscar Mayer Wiener...

Official

Catch the Wienermobile at one of three remaining stops at various locations on its DFW tour.

DALLAS — A former U.S. Representative from New York might have made “Weiner” jokes all the rage back in 2011, but before Anthony, there was Oscar. O-S-C-A-R.

Unlike Anthony, Oscar follows the “i before e” rule. Oscar also hotrods in a hotdog. Well, maybe not “Oscar,” but his Hotdogger reps sure do, and two of them have just hit town in the Wienermobile, which will be porked in lots at various locations through Friday, December 21. It’s manned – or, rather, womanned – by Hot Diggity Holly and Jess Grillin’, who want to pump you up during the Dallas leg of their national tour.

What’s the big deal about a wiener on wheels? Here are 5 reasons you need to visit the Wienermobile this week.

Locations:

Tuesday, December from 5-8 p.m.: 18 Fiesta-Posada at 275 NE 28th Street in Fort Worth

Wednesday, December 19 from 5-9 p.m.: Carnival-Posada at 3460 Webb Chapel in Dallas

Friday, December 21 from 10 a.m.-2 p.m.: Albertsons at 301 Southwest Plaza in Arlington

It's made in the U.S.A. We’re not entirely sure what wiener-making entails, and we’re pretty sure we don’t want to know. But, Oscar Mayer is an American company started by a German immigrant who established a small business in Chicago in 1883. That’s the American Dream, brother! Sure, the company is now owned by the Kraft Foods monolith, which is not exactly known for promoting healthy lifestyles or the ethical treatment of animals, but um ... U-S-A! U-S-A!

They give exciting opportunities to recent college grads. According to reps, Oscar Mayer visits college campuses across the nation, recruiting soon-to-graduate students with a “thirst for adventure and who can truly cut the mustard.” New Hotdoggers travel the country for a one-year tour, seeing the sights from Sea to Shining Sea. It’s just like On the Road or Travels With Charlie, if those iconic American classics had been undertaken in gas-guzzling corporate-sponsored meat-shaped vehicles. But, hey – with the economy as it is, can journalists sign up? And, do we have to sign an all-wiener-diet contract?

You'll meet the elite. Each year there are 12 Hotdoggers “spreading miles of smiles” who were selected from more than 1,200 applicants to drive the Wienermobile fleet. In fact, reps make a big point in noting that more people have walked on the moon than served as the true, the proud, the Hotdogger. This week, meet two of the elite. Shake their hands. Snap a pic. When else in your life will you have the chance? (Next year.)

Consider your holiday meal planning done and done. On the last day of the Dallas tour, the Wienermobile will stop at Albertson's in Arlington, and the Hotdoggers will not only hand out Wiener Whistles, but also $1 off coupons for Oscar Mayer Selects, which have no artificial preservatives, flavors, or colors. With Selects selections running the gamut from hot dogs to cold cuts and bacon, you can feed those in-laws and put a bit of the savings into a holiday donation to the North Texas Food Bank.

Iconic Wiener Whistles double as emergency whistles. Sure, you can tune up the Wiener Whistles for a rousing rendition of the Oscar Mayer Wiener Song. But, if 2013 goes anything like 2012 for the ladies, we’ll take all the “legitimate” protection we can get, even if there’s a wiener involved.

You want instructions for creating Charles Phoenix’s Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree, I hear? Boom: