Top Chef Texas episode 14: Beverly returns and everyone cries

by Teresa Gubbins

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Everyone except the noble, stoic Ed.

Ed from Top Chef Texas

Top Chef Texas episode 14 was the last episode before the finale begins, and for maximum drama, it brought in the contestants' mentors, the people who inspired the contestants to be all they can be and make them what they are today.

What they are today: a bunch of crybabies. Seriously. We know that participation in this competition is grueling and unlike any other challenge they've faced in their entire professional careers, so maybe they're experiencing stress we-the-viewers cannot understand. The Magical Elves have probably created a hellish scenario where crying seems like your only option. But holy Tammy Faye Baker. Paul Qui wept so much at the sight of mentor Tyson Cole that his eyes turned red and he rubbed them with balled-up fists. He apologized almost instantly to Tyson for losing it, but Tyson said it was OK, and they kissed on the lips. OK, they didn't do that but they might as well have. Get a room!

The producers stretched out the cry-a-thon as long as they possibly could, dwelling endlessly on every imagined tear. How many times did they show the exact same shot of Tyson Cole wiping the corner of his eye? Yes, the mentors cried, too. Being on this show is harder on your tear ducts than watching The Notebook.

The only person who did not sob on command was Ed -- and boy, did he get penalized for it. When the Magical Elves order you to cry on camera and you refuse, they will find something wrong with your smoked oyster sauce, perhaps by removing all fresh oysters from the market so that you will have to resort to using canned oysters and get booted from the show. He even apologized for not crying, explaining that he feels feelings, too, but it wasn't enough.

Moon-faced Sarah took herself out of the competition entirely by winning the quickfire and choosing as her prize a guaranteed finalist spot. That meant she didn't have to compete in the elimination challenge and could go par-tay with her mentor. Always the sportsmanlike competitor, she acknowledged that some of the other chefs would think that choosing a guaranteed finalist slot was weak, but nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah.

The other big theme of the show was kicking Beverly. One hopes that the producers are magnifying the other contestants' bad attitude towards Beverly, as they often do for drama / and to find a villain, like they did in Season 7 when Angelo was on. If the contestants really behaved the way they are being presented on the show, they should be ashamed of themselves. Beverly did this, Beverly did that. Beverly is the source of all evil. Beverly can't cook her way out of a paper bag. Beverly ruins everything. Will she beat Paul in the end? There is your drama.

Paul's soup with un-seasoned vegetables and extra-salty broth came together harmoniously and he won the Prius. Beverly took a risk by wok-frying her food and succeeded, so her dish was second-best. Lindsay's reconceived fish stew was slightly less problematic than Ed's canned oyster sauce so Lindsay scored the Finalist No. 4 spot and Ed went home. He didn't cry when he left, either. Stay strong, Ed!