Top Chef Texas episode 10: Restaurant Wars anticlimactic

by Teresa Gubbins

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Well, let's put it this way: It's no Kobayashi Maru.

Bravo

Ty-Lor

Top Chef Texas Episode 10 reaches that point that every Top Chef must reach, the veritable climax of every season: the Star Trek reference.

Oh and also, it's Restaurant Wars. Did R.W. seem anti-climactic this time around? Padma makes the big "It's Restaurant Wars" pronouncement and ... clap clap clap. The chef-testants don't hardly flinch, which seems out of character for the biggest group of whoopers yet, who've so far imploded over mundane everyday objects such as a set of encyclopedias, the interior of a car (true, it was a TOYOTA), a field trip to Austin, and a hotel view.

Only slitty-eyed Chris injects the right degree of gravity by comparing Restaurant Wars to a Star Trek contest, which he just happens to know is called Kobayashi Maru. "For the rest of you non-Trekkies," he explains, it's "a challenge that Starfleet Academy uses to test their captains in an impossible situation." Who are you calling a non-Trekkie? But the fact that slitty-eyed Chris is a Trekkie explains a lot, including his slitty eyes and that Yorkshire Terrier topknot. Just get a haircut, would you?

Padma announces that, this time around, R.W. will be a battle of the sexes. Which Ed helpfully translates as "girls versus boys." He also hints that girls can't get along -- who are you calling catty? But bossy Sarah proves him right: Within 30 seconds, she's clawing Beverly.

The teams cook on consecutive nights, allowing them to eat at each other's place. This is, as Heidi Klum would say, a twist. The two teams also end up excelling in ways that are the opposite of what you would expect. From the girls you might anticipate warm service, while the guys you might think would deliver on the food.

Ed turns out to be an awesome host of Canteen, the boys' concept; but their food fails. At Half Bushel, the gals' spot whose name perhaps unwittingly includes the loaded word "bush," hostess Lindsay is MIA -- she's too busy in the kitchen clawing Beverly. But the girls' food is good. Good enough that they win, with the best dish going to Beverly. As Mr. Spock might say, you do not mess with Beverly.

Early in the show, Lindsay reveals she was the prom queen. We hear you: She deserves to be axed, not only for bombing at Front Of The House but also blaming Beverly for her own crappy dish. But the boys team loses and one of them must go: Ty-Lor, whose exit is one of the classiest ever. Starfleet Academy would approve.