Restaurant review: Velvet Taco in Dallas

by Ashli Michelle of Almost Veggie

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Just try and find something terrible about Velvet Taco – it’s not going to happen.

The Dallas sky isn’t falling after all. Two whole weeks of restaurant joy is almost painfully exciting. For a while it seemed like Dallas was going to suck my insides right out and take my taste buds to the cleaners. It hurt.

Begging to be thrown a bone seemed like a pipe dream, when along came a much welcomed surprise — four excellent restaurants in a row! Nonna, Carbone’s, Nosh Euro Bistro, and now… Velvet Taco. Thanks be to God. Amen.

Sitting all comfy on Henderson Avenue is a real live gourmet taqueria. Having lunch here is one of the best accidents to ever happen. Lunch was supposed to consist of a quick stop at Sissy’s for a second try. While passing this building of taco glory, I was pulled into the parking lot by a line of people stretching through the restaurant and out the side door. Could it be? A place exists in this city worthy of the ultimate line wait?

It gets better! They serve my dad’s favorite for dessert: red velvet cake. Velvet Taco feels almost exactly like Torchy’s Tacos, but even better, this taqueria has many more options available for almost veggie people.

The menu is pleasantly placed on the wall for those in line to investigate. Three sections of food do not contain only carcass. This is unheard of! Veggie people are the bottom dwellers of the tasting totem pole. The last sip. Annoying. Pale. Frail. Exhausted. Why should we be offered more than the incisor biter?

Most impressive was not the food, oh no. Sitting back waiting for a chance to ask for a to-go box bag, the manager was like a machine. This guy is a real deal multitasker. He took orders on the phone, wiped down the expo area, pulled the phone back to shout a name for pickup, and cut a piece of red velvet cake all within 23 seconds. This is why my bag wait was necessary.

The bag wait became more important as I listened to this manager almost turn a person down. You want a bag from this guy? Well, you better really need it. You see, this manager does not have time for people not caring about Mother Earth. The environment is important to him, so getting a bag is like having acceptable blog grammar – it’s difficult. Sashaying up to the counter with one to-go box does not entitle anyone to a bag. Come on people! Get green or get out.

Per Velvet Taco — Cool things about the world inside Velvet Taco:

“We make our own tortillas, slow roast our own chicken and corn, and make everything from scratch which makes our food taste really awesome. We use fresh fruit and sorbets in our margaritas and sangrias… also awesome. Oh and we recycle. Come in and see us.”

Lobster rolls used to excite me, that is, until yesterday at exactly 9:27 a.m. As I read through the comment section of my blog, there it was… pending comment #18, which is the exact number of the lobster taco pending description. This comment informed me, among other things, that I added the word “roll” after the word “aioli” on the most recent lobster roll description. Gasp.

This is worse than whistling to get your server’s attention. Placing a word in the wrong spot of any food description is an unforgivable outrage. Put down your pen. Waste away proof reading in purgatory for all of eternity. Get rid of your laptop. Sit in a dark cold closet somewhere – anywhere – because it’s the end of the road.

Moving right along …

Although the #18 is listed as a Maine lobster roll, it is indeed delivered on none other than a flour tortilla. Technically, a tortilla can be rolled. This is a proven fact. Really. After speed dialing my therapist yesterday because of this word we call … roll, there is no way a description dilemma is going to be up in the club today.

After endless hours of thought, calling this item a roll-illa is the only option. The Maine lobster roll-illa consists of New England lobster salad, avocado, green onions, local arugula, and tomato. This lobster roll-illa can be yours for only $7.50.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this place. Just try and find something terrible – it’s not going to happen. Even waiting in line seems like a day at Disney because of what is waiting at the pick-up counter. All will exit Velvet Taco with the biggest pip in every skip. True story.

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