Tuesday, June 5, 2012
The X List: 8 clues that Green Lantern was always gay
Pretty soon, the only straight cultural icons left will be Jabba the Hut and the Iron Sheik.
Nerdworld was awkwardly slapped on its collective hiney this week, when DC Comics announced that longtime buff-man-in-tight-spandex Green Lantern is a gay homosexual. While some conservative parents' groups that will never pick up a comic book in their lives were predictably shocked, the warning signs have been there since the 1940s. Here are eight tip-offs that should have had everyone's gaydar on high alert.
#1: Green Lantern likes to hug and kiss other dudes.
#2: In All-American Comics #16, Green Lantern and Aquaman showed up to the Hall of Justice halloween party in a two-man horse costume. An invisible two-man horse costume.
#3: In All-Star Comics #57, Green Lantern tearfully sent his short-lived companion ABBA Boy to a "Curing Sidekickism Through Prayer" camp, and their manly goodbye hug lasted 187 panels.
#4: In issue #27 of Green Lantern: Rebirth, Hal Jordan started a cover band that played nothing but two solid hours of "It's Raining Men."
#5: In Showcase #76, Green Lantern accidentally invented MMA after a routine game of Twister with Robin and Hawkman got a little out of control.
#7: In Green Lantern #1, tensions mount when Batman tells Hal Jordan to "turn that Black-Eyed Peas s**t off" at the Hall of Justice's first-ever dinner party.
#8: Hal Jordan's room in the HoJ is covered with posters of a shirtless Ryan Reynolds.