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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The X List: 9 genre mash-ups better than Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter


Honorable mention: Walt Whitman: Neck Puncher.

With the astounding box-office success of "historical" genre mash-ups like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and The Raven, it's time for those Hollywood guys whose only job is to add a "2" or "3" after movies to look up from their inspirational white powder and start greenlighting more of these films. Americans are hungry for false history like never before, so we've cobbled together these nine ideas that should have kids devouring our nation's history like it was made of grease and trans-fats.

We'd wait in line for 10 hours to see Jefferson Davis: Cthlulhu Pope.

We'd wait in line for 10 hours to see Jefferson Davis: Cthlulhu Pope.

#1: Richard Nixon: Zombie Shanker

#2: Susan B. Anthony: Bikini Inspector

#3: James Madison: Werewolf Fondler

#4: John Quincy Adams: Balrog Slapper

#5: Harry Truman: Nut Shrinker

#6: Thomas Jefferson: Blacula Impersonator

#7: Jimmy Carter: Witchf**ker

#8: Benedict Arnold: Dwarf Tosser

#9: Gerald Ford: Holy Diver



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Jason Rice, verified:

Jefferson Davis: Cthlulhu Pope. -- pinnacle of graphics for the day.
Bravo!

Todd Maternowski, staff:

All in a day's work, Mr. Rice.

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