Monday, March 19, 2012
St. Paddy’s Pickle Parade in Mansfield lacked one tiny thing: a pickle
There were Girl Scouts and beagles and plenty of green.
MANSFIELD Dear City of Mansfield,
I'm writing in reference to the St. Paddy's Pickle Parade and Pickle Palooza Run you hosted on Saturday -- which I attended, eschewing the Greenville Avenue parade, the Leprechaun cider at Trinity Hall, and the Guinness Stout pancakes with Bailey's whipped cream and Jameson whiskey syrup at Holy Grail Pub.
I bypassed all that and more because your St. Paddy’s Pickle Parade and Pickle Palooza Run seemed to hold great promise.
For starters, it was the first of its kind in Mansfield. And it was sponsored by Best Maid pickles, whose sweet midgets I buy all the time. That Best Maid is HQ'd in Fort Worth made for a nifty tie-in. And there was the fact that you got an actual Irish priest to play the part of St. Patrick.
So I got up on a Saturday. Drove from Deep Ellum to Mansfield. Since you blocked the main drag, I parked at a hair salon and hoofed the mile down Broad Street along with hundreds of people dressed in green. On the parade route, I climbed up a brick planter to get a good vantage for photos. I got pics of the beagle rescue, of the aspirational ballerinas in green tulle skirts. I cheered for the cheerleaders, and whistled at the crew of Elvises doing crazy wheelies on motorized trykes.
What I did not see was a pickle. I don't think I missed it? I was keeping an eye out. I expected it at the end; that seemed like the right time to trot out a pickle -- a capper to a parade whose name was pickle. I envisioned a guy in a pickle costume, or else maybe a splendid giant pickle crafted out of papier mache. I watched as two final floats glided by carrying the "pickle queens" in their prom gowns and tiaras and floozy-esque red wigs -- unquestionably enchanting but -- still no pickle. The Home Depot truck had a painted wooden pickle, but it wasn't a pickle with a capital P.
I don't want to criticize your parade, City of Mansfield, but calling it a Pickle Parade without a pickle is just wrong.