The X List: Dallas’ next 8 world-class architectural wonders

by Todd Maternowski

• Tweet
• Email
• Print
• 0 Comments

Not mentioned: Stonehenge 2, a circle of meticulously-carved, massive stone middle fingers facing all directions.

With the Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge ready for business, Dallas may finally be known for something other than that time JFK died. But despite crippling budget shortfalls and a highway system inspired by a bee on meth, Dallas isn't done yet. Here are the next eight massive architectural undertakings that will put Dallas firmly on the world map.

Wonder #1: A fully operational Death Star made entirely of 50-ounce Bronc Buster steaks.

Wonder #2: A 13-story stripper pole in North Arlington.

Wonder #3: The Pyramid of Woe, made of the broken femurs of millions of unpaid Dallas ISD teachers.

Wonder #4: A monument-destroying battlemech named Slim to obliterate other city's greatest architectural treasures.

Wonder #5: A strip mall so huge it can be seen from space.

Wonder #6: An even bigger strip mall right next to that one.

Wonder #7: A minority-proof Great Moat of Texas surrounding Farmer's Branch and/or Highland Park.

Wonder #8: The Colossus of Bedford, a titanic statue of a naked Jerry Jones straddling the Mid-Cities.

Tweet