Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The X List: 8 fun facts about the Oklahoma City Thunder
Fun Fact #9: Russell Westbrook has been quietly standing behind you now for the last three hours.
With two games in the books and the defending NBA Champion Dallas Mavericks in an 0-2 hole, it's probably time we started taking our weird cousins to the north a little more seriously. For some reason, information on this team from before 2009 is a little hazy, but thanks to the twin powers of top-notch journalistic skills and an unwavering commitment to the truth, we were able to compile this list of eight fun facts concerning the plucky lads of the Oklahoma City Thunder.
Fun Fact #1: Kevin Durant once killed a man for noodlin' too loud.
Fun Fact #2: When the Supersonics were relocated to Oklahoma City, the team insisted on a more familiar "sound-related" name, but "Oklahoma City Toothless Wheeze" was too hard for fans to spell.
Fun Fact #3: Up until this January, the top-selling concession item was the Abortion Dog.
Fun Fact #4: The Thunder's lovable mascot, Rumble, is wanted in seven states for molesting Ewoks.
Fun Fact #5: Head coach Scott Brooks credits his team's meteoric rise to NBA dominance to Sharia law, throwing burning Bibles at our nation's children, and Obamacare.
Fun Fact #6: Every halftime show features Kendrick Perkins and Serge Ibaka playing spoons, then spooning.
Fun Fact #7: The Thunder's Chesapeake Energy Arena doubles as Oklahoma City's tenth-largest meth lab.
Fun Fact #8: Before 2008, "opening tip-off" usually involved illegal fireworks, a pair of smoking Fruit of the Looms, and an emergency trip to the ER.