Restaurant review: Bone Daddy’s House of Smoke in Dallas

Ironic that a restaurant that shows off scantily clad waitresses is so clean.

Photo by Ashli Michelle

Bone Daddy's

Wowzer. After Hooters and Wolfies, it’s exciting to see the positives existing where tops and bottoms are concerned. Many businessmen feel instant manliness lunching with clients at Bone Daddy’s House of Smoke in Dallas. (There are also locations in Arlington, Grapevine, and Plano.)

With a mandatory giggle, servers employed at this restaurant wear Daisy Dukes and half shirts, as well as 2–4 inch heels. Quests aren’t usually as exciting until dining in a handful of sex sells establishments. Certain places become offended at the very thought of not receiving automatic respect from consumers. I’m sorry. If you dress like a lady of the night, people will remain skeptical until brains, skills, and less-than-scandalous thrills are a proven fact.

To update all on this adventure thus far, Hooters was a dirty sloppy mess. One server left with one nasty carcass-filled knife, only to return with an even dirtier knife. Um, Wolfies. Holy moly. The Woodlands location is a massacre of unacceptable dirtiness. Not repressing the experience is enough to make you throw up in your mouth — just a little.

Photo by Ashli Michelle

Bone Daddy's bounteous croutons

Stepping into Bone Daddy’s was refreshing in the cleanest way. Were they dressed like almost 10 dollar hookers? Yes. Were they doing their job, providing well above average service? Yes. A clean atmosphere with great service is just what every superior male belly needs.

Arriving with bells on, our server’s first words of wonder: “Hi. My name is Blossom.” Blossom? Really? Um, I’m sorry. There is no way your name is Blossom. You may be selling, but this table is not buying. Nope. Not happening. As we began discussing name necessity, one theory emerged.

Maybe, just maybe, her name is Martha. Martha takes un-sexy to the next level of un-sexy name extreme. Not sexy for even one single second. Business lunchers probably fancy a kind of Betty Boop-ish moment upon hearing the name of their Bone Daddy babe for the day. “Blossom” rings in a manner fitting their forte. Martha? Not so much.

Photo by Ashli Michelle

Bone Daddy's CFS

Eww. This guy ordered an 8-ounce chicken fried chicken breast smothered in creamy gravy and served with creamed corn, a cheese roll, and garlic and chive whipped potatoes.

There were a total of 984 croutons in this salad. A full blown crouton massacre. So many croutons, a massive crouton hunt ensued. Goal: Get rid of all croutons and ask for saltine crackers. Crunching up saltine crackers as a substitute for hardcore fattening butter crusted croutons is a clear win against the battle of the bulge.

Blossom was as sweet as the sugar in my Granny’s iced tea! She said it would be no problem to have grilled shrimp rather than fried, and considering some of us aren’t big hungry men with teddy bear bellies, her substitution approval is appreciated.

Photo by Ashli Michelle

Bone Daddy's shrimp salad

This salad must satisfy every man’s mixed greens dream, having shrimp, loads of cheddar cheese, tomato chunks, homemade croutons, and smoked bacon. I begged Blossom for … no bacon.

So exciting to see was a super clean restaurant. CLEAN — CLEAN. Let’s say that one more time — CLEAN. It doesn’t matter what you wear, just keep it clean, people.

These girls do not just have a job because of their body. They hold their own, even with the highest heels imaginable. Word on the street is they majorly make bank during every shift.

Even if servers are a shoo-in for strippers, the service was great and the restaurant was obviously well-managed. This does not mean the food was all that, because it wasn’t.

Pegasus News Content partner - Almost Veggie

jackmack65, anonymous:

Incomprehensible.

"Quests aren’t usually as exciting until dining in a handful of sex sells establishments."

WTF is that supposed to mean?

Furthermore... oh, forget it.

1 year ago
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joe3135, anonymous:

Well now... first you poke fun at the menu which you decide to change to something more palatable to you - cut this out - substitute that - change this... and proceed to tell us the "food was not all that"... you screw it up and then complain that it did not ring your bell? typical.....

1 year ago
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porkrod69, anonymous:

For REAL? Is this supposed to be a review? This was written more like an entry in a horrible 'Sex in the City 4-Carrie Packs it On'.

There was no mention of the quality or the flavors. There was no appraisal of the menu items; rather an insecure rant from someone that had a college roommate much hotter than her. MUCH MUCH hotter.

Tell us about the CFS, the gravy, the tastes and the plating of the dishes. And to not get bacon--is sooooo beyond stupid. It's not even a choice when they smoke it in-house. There is no logic to it--is couldn't be a kosher or religious thing--being shrimp. It's not about the fat--as it's shrimp and cheese.

I'd ask you to explain yourself, but then we'd have to read more. Please don't eat again. And if you do Ashli, please don't tell us about it.

1 year ago
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porkrod69, anonymous:

WOOAH WOOOAH WOOOOOAHHHH --for further info see little Ashli's site-Almost Veggie Houston.

SO they send an anti-carnivore to do a review of basically a meat restaurant. SOOOOO there you have it folks--journalistic integrity a la Pegasus News. Hence the lack of flavor descriptions or anything close to an unbiased opinion. This piece sucks for Bone Daddys...and should be taken down because it is dishonest and biased. It is bad for business--BD and Pegasus.

Want an unbiased opinion from a hypercritical food junkie? Send me to Bone Daddy's--I'll try every damn menu item. I'll eat them-unchanged and unmolested the way the chef intended. I'll give a thorough and honest opinion down to the last morsels, That Ashli, is how it is done. Next time go to Soup or Salad or Cafe Elite.

1 year ago
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FOOD_FOOD, anonymous:

I ENJOYED THE COMMENTS SECTION THE MOST.

THEY WERE CORRECT IN NOT MUCH IN THE WAY OF FOOD VALUE REVIEW. MORE ABOUT NAMES AND OUTFITS.

IF YOU WANT MORE SKIMPY OUTFITS LOOK TO "BIG RACKS"(THAT'S THE NAME) IN GRAPEVINE. GET PAST THE OUTFITS AND YOU HAVE GOOD BBQ.

ELLEN

1 year ago
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SitizenKane, anonymous:

Seriously; why does PN let these airheads write for them?

1 year ago
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Teresa Gubbins, staff:

Almost Veggie is one of the many blogs that is a Pegasus News content partner. We don't have any say over what they write - but we are happy to publish all kinds of stories.

One thing that's never changed about our reviewing content partners, no matter who they are, is that they always draw lots of feedback and comments.

1 year ago
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sundmcclendon, anonymous:

I've never known a stripper named "Blossom." I have known a few "Ashli" with an "i"'s though. Just sayin....she who lives in a glass house.

1 year ago
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John Turner-McClelland, verified:

This person did not watch the greatest sitcom ever, Blossom? Clearly other people were named Blossom before this waitress.

1 year ago
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ashli michelle, anonymous:

Yawn. Seriously, you people need to relax. Most comment sections are filled with rattlesnakes rambling on & on, feeding off each other's lame insults. It's probably exhausting. If you don't like my opinion, which is what I write, then don't push the little button that takes you to it. Plain & simple.

1 year ago
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porkrod69, anonymous:

I would go with plain and simple-don't go to a meat establishment as an 'almost veggie'--dumbest.premise.ever. Duh!

1 year ago
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Jason Rice, verified:

Most comment sections are filled with rattlesnakes rambling on & on

Wait! You started without me?

Yawn

Seriously - you propped this up as male bashing and "lipsticked it up purty" as health. Take your licks.

1 year ago
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ashli michelle, anonymous:

No male bashing on this end. I firmly believe every businessman is hungry and deserves to be served a fulfilling meal. Take my licks? Gladly. Besides, the comments are beyond intellectually stimulating. I'd ask for nothing less. Cheers!

1 year ago
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