Cozy up in Jeffrey Lee’s townhouse hidden behind a wall of juniper trees

For $369,000, you can even hide your explicitly public military affair.

Dave Perry-Miller & Associates

The home of Jeffrey Lee, co-owner of Urban Flower Grange Hall, at 4111 Newton off Oak Lawn

DALLAS — I don’t know about you, but I am just thoroughly enjoying the military soap opera that keeps unraveling in Washington D.C., North Carolina, and now Tampa, Florida. I guess it’s providing relief from stressing over the election and the Fiscal Cliff and capital gains taxes going up. To be honest, I have always had a “thing” for military men. (Interesting that both Paula Broadwell and Jill Kelley are married to physicians, no?) And come on, everyone knows that military life is rife with dangerous liasons.

So I found this great little love nest for Gen. David Petraeus and Paula Broadwell right here in Dallas. Dallas, you say, the heart of the Bible Belt? Oh my yes, remember Gennifer Flowers lived “Behind the Pink Wall” and Paula Jones? (Who is, funny thing, now a real estate agent last I heard.) Dallas is a great city for “military liasons,” and you could not find a more perfect love nest than 4111 Newton, Number 33. This also happens to be the home of Jeffrey Lee, one of the co-owners of Urban Flower Grange Hall, ergo fantastic interior design! More than seven years ago, Rajan Patel and Jeffrey Lee, both talented students of fashion, design, and visual merchandise, opened a store that specializes in bizarre and unusual home décor, floral, gifts, and jewelry. Dallas just laps up Grange Hall and asks for more, way more than the original oversized curio cabinet of merchandise with a mad sense of whimsy, a laboratory of fresh ideas for the home.

Dave Perry-Miller & Associates

The selling aspect of the kitchen is the easily accessible wine rack.

Idea: I need to take them my shrunken head.

No longer just selling floral and home accessories, UFGH offers a highly curated selection of bizarre gifts and unusual, and over-the-top jewelry from around the world. Think candleholders made out of doll heads, stuffed peacocks, skull and crossbones stationery, and paperweights with snake skeletons inside plus exquisite custom jewelry.

And heads, lots of heads. A walk on the wild side for anyone, especially a four-star general who led the CIA and a counter-terrorism expert in the reserves.

Lee’s home is located, and this is paramount, on a quiet tree-lined street in North Oak Lawn within walking distance of Flywheels and Equinox gym to maintain those toned Paula arms. Oh wait, they both run: Well, the Katy Trail is not too far, and Paula can out-run half of Oak Lawn to her heart's content.

Dave Perry-Miller & Associates

The master bedroom at 4111 Newton Ave., No. 33

The open floor plan perfect for entertaining two or more, with high ceilings, a balcony, fenced grass area, and, very important, rooftop access. Two bedrooms, two and a half baths, just under 2,000 square feet. There is also a two-car garage. Sexy, rich, dark stained hardwood floors are juxtaposed with antique shutters, granite countertops, and Bosch appliances, with a designer kitchen perfect for Thanksgiving dinner or a discreet midnight snack. I do love the open wine holders on the side of the island — makes grabbing a bottle very easy.

But the master retreat is the true treasure here. How many times have I heard people say, all I really need is my master bedroom? This one is immense and luxurious and features a limestone bath and a huge walk-in closet. There is a great spa shower, Jacuzzi tub, and space. Love the neat overhead fan for when we need to “cool it down."

Seriously Jeff, we are ready for the encore: asking $369,000 for this not-your-grandmother’s jewel box, listed with Claudine King of Dave Perry-Miller. P.S. Those junipers will hide anything.