Tuesday, October 2, 2012
The X List: Tony Romo’s Top 12 Most Redeeming Qualities
In related news, Chad Hutchinson and Drew Henson would like to know if you're going to eat that.
For long-suffering fans of the Dallas Cowboys, last night's five interception travesty was just another nail in the coffin for quarterback Tony Romo. But even an undrafted starting QB like Romo has a few redeeming qualities. Here are twelve reasons to fall in love with the League Leader in Smiles all over again.
#1: Romo can bench an impressive 160, nearly three times higher than the strongest Cowboys offensive lineman.
#2: He often places in the top five in the league in Boyish Grins, while his Smiley Face/Frowny Face ratio is at Hall of Fame-caliber levels.
#3: Romo selflessly dated a string of vapid, interchangeable blondes so that the rest of us wouldn't have to.
#4: Once threw three touchdowns against the Bears on a nationally-televised Monday Night Football game.
#5: Last name helpfully rhymes with 'homo.'
#6: Once overthrew a man for snorin' too loud.
#7: Has a charitable side business where he donates footballs to underprivileged African-American males.
#8: Drops three cups of coffee and a Four Loko before every game.
#9: Spent his rookie season learning pinpoint accuracy from Vinny Testeverde.
#10: May win as many as two or three playoff games over the next 60 years.
#11: Often silences his critics by reminding them that he is a starting NFL quarterback married to a former Miss Missouri while they are limp and useless parasites with no value to society whatsoever.
#12: Hopes to someday make Cowboys fans forget the names Quincy Carter and Ryan Leaf.