Thursday, October 4, 2012
Thursday Morning Cupcheck - Better Know an Ex-Star: Krys Barch
He may not have won any fights these past six years, but I dare you to find a better jersey-tugger.
But rather than re-hash another amazingly well-crafted Pulitzer-ready tell-all about the lockout, we at Pegasus are going to instead explore the human side of the owners' decision: the effect of the lockout on former Dallas Star and notorious pugilist, Krys Barch.
Barch recently made headlines --hockey headlines, anyway-- when he rambled on twitter about how the lockout affects marginal NHLers like himself. While fans had a variety of opinions regarding his rant, the question on many minds was: Who is Krys Barch? What insights can he offer on this trying time in hockey history? And, are you going to eat that?
As die-hard Stars fans, we've had a special relationship with Barchy over the years, and feel eminently qualified to slop this collection of Fun Facts together.
Better Know an Ex-Star: Krys Barch
Name: Krystofer Barch
Acceptable Nicknames: Barchman, Barchie, Five Minute Jabs, Dr. Smack, JawBane, The Punkslayer.
Unacceptable Nicknames: A**whip
Born in: Hamilton
Which is...: The only real hockey town in all of Ontario.
Height: 6' 1
Hockey Goon Weight Class: Should be Heavyweight, fights like Bantam
Fun Facts?: Yes
Defining Moment as a Dallas Star: That one fight in six years where he didn't get his face completely curbstomped.
Good in the Room?: Yes.
Good on the Ice?: Ehh.... next question.
Nicest Comparison: Tyler Durden
Meanest Comparison: Glass Joe
Who Wants Him: Cam Janssen, Paul Bissonette
Who Wants to be Him: Hockey bloggers, literally no one else
Greatest Strengths: Good teammate, takes a punch like a champ
Greatest Weaknesses: Fistccuracy
Preferred DnD Character: Hit Point Tank
Looks Eerily Similar To: Your tax accountant.
Looks Eerily Nothing Like: Legolas
Career Goals: To connect with a haymaker before he retires, maybe play double-digits minutes in a single game.
Worst Fear: Leprosy
Things He Does Better Than You: Twitter.
If He Was a Beer, He'd Be: A pint of Guinness with a shot of scotch submerged in it.
Alternate Universe Career: Stunt man, Russian mafia bodyguard