Tuesday, August 20, 2013
The X List: Top 10 most shocking revelations about Alex Rodriguez
#11: Never put the cap back on the tube of cream after he was done.
As the sordid saga of former Ranger Alex Rodriguez hits a new all-time low, it's time to consider the possibility that maybe A-Rod isn't the most popular guy in baseball right now. But the hate goes way beyond that: Here are 10 more reasons the poor guy won't be invited to any players-only key parties in the near future.
#1: A-Rod poisoned Milwaukee's water supply with 40 million gallons of liquid lead, causing irreparable brain damage to Bud Selig.
#2: Once hit a bases-empty home run off a man for snorin' too loud.
#3: Never once chipped in at players-only steroid parties.
#4: Lied before Congress about how he didn't cry during Up!.
#5: Would take out his 'roid rage on large groups of Boston Red Sox fans, who he would meet in dark alleys around Fenway and savagely beat to within an inch of their lives.
#6: Took copious amounts of HGH, or "Horse Growth Hormone," which allowed him to become a centaur and gave him an unfair advantage in running the basepaths.
#7: Would dispose of his used butt needles in an improper fashion, usually by liberally sprinkling them around Ryan Dempster's mom's house after a night of tender lovemaking.
#8: Primarily uses his 'roided-up muscles not on baseball, but to whup up on old gypsy women.
#9: Once paid $1 million to have an Iron Throne made entirely of syringes.
#10: Thanks to A-rod's constant whining, this is the only song allowed in the Yankees locker room on game days.