Monday, December 16, 2013
5 fictional coaches who should replace Mack Brown
Texas is looking for a new football coach. We have a few ideas.
The Texas Longhorns are looking for a new coach. (You may have heard a thing or two about that over the last few days.) We know a few candidates who are being talked about as replacements. But I’ll tell you who we really want: one of our favorite coaches from movies and TV.
Here are our top 5 candidates:
5. Coach Molly McGrath (Goldie Hawn), "Wildcats"
She turned around a struggling team at an inner-city school and overcame some serious gender bias in the process. "You think a woman can't be tough enough? Watch me."
4. Patches O’Houlihan (Rip Torn), “Dodgeball”
Though his motivational style was not the safest or nicest — forcing the team to dodge oncoming cars and the like — Patches got the Average Joes in fighting shape. Maybe the most quotable coach on this list. (Most of them are not printable.)
‘Any Given Sunday’ Al Pacino pre-game speech
3. Tony D'Amato (Al Pacino), "Any Given Sunday"
The Miami Sharks coach should get the nod just for his electric pre-game speech alone. "Either we heal -- now! -- as a team, or we will die as individuals."
2. Coach Hayden Fox (Craig T. Nelson), "Coach"
He led the Minnesota State Screaming Eagles to a national championship, which is enough for us. Obviously, he would bring along Luther and Dauber as assistants.
1. Eric Taylor (Kyle Chandler), "Friday Night Lights"
He's a molder of men and a winner of championships. What else do you want? OK, so his stint as an assistant coach at TMU didn't go so well, but we still think he'd lead the Longhorns to greatness. Clear eyes. Full hearts. CAN'T LOSE.
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