Friday, February 8, 2013
Single? Here are four Valentine’s Day events where you don’t need a date
Because cupid is stupid.
Think of all the best parts of being single: staying out as late as you want; flirting with whomever you choose; attending 50% fewer family functions. That’s right. No date nights to Home Depot, ultimatums on dirty dishes, or ominous text messages requesting time to "talk." We, the happily unattached, are starting to see why the be-relationshipped want to frantically profess their undying love with prix fixe menus all over town. Because from this vantage point, being in love looks a lot like drawing the short stick.
So if you’re the type who occasionally gets beer goggles for your own reflection in the bathroom mirror at Adair’s, then grab a champagne flute of Haterade and check out our favorite Valentine’s Day events for singles.
Singles Awareness Day Remixed – It's yuppies unlocking freebies by connecting with other singles via the MingleBird introduction app on their smartphones. There are raffles and prizes, including free cosmetics and beauty products for women and men alike. But, don’t think this is just about beautiful people on prowl for a well-groomed hook-up. Last year, S.A.D. raised $1,000 for Big Brothers, Big Sisters, and this year, proceeds will benefit Speak to Me, Inc., a charity working to end bullying. This party with a purpose rocks from 8-11 p.m. at aLoft Downtown. Single tickets are $12, and if you’re flying with a wingman/woman, then two person buddy packs are $20.
Need some tunes to set the mood? Pregame with S.A.D.'s Ultimate Singles Playlist, which is updated daily.
RunOn! Stop Light Run – Sure, you could cry about being fat – trust us, you’re not – and blame that for your lack of weddin’ bling, or you could instead turn in your sweats for ... well, sweats -- but the sexy kind. RunOn! at Mockingbird celebrates love of all varieties with their “We Heart Our Social Runners!” event. Yeah, it sounds all gross and lovey-dovey at first, but here’s the twist: During a “stop light run,” runners dress in red if they’re taken, yellow if it’s complicated, and green if they’re single. That way, discerning which cutie to flirt with is about as easy as shooting incredibly fit fish in a barrel. We suggest the horrific pick up line, "Your pace or mine?"
In addition to the chase, they’ll also offer free food and drinks, and will be raffling off a complimentary entry for the Heart Beat 5K, among other prizes. Routes vary from 2 to 4.5 miles, and all paces and levels are welcome.
Annual Anti-Valentine’s Party at Frankie's – Cupid might join the witness protection program after this, the consummate event for those who “do not ‘heart’ love.” Frankie's sets up a massive shredder at its front door, and patrons willing to shred a memento of dying love – anything from an ex's photo to a Dear John letter or steamy email print out – will receive a free drink (one per guest, up to a $6.50 value). In addition, it’s happy hour prices all night, and the heroes behind the bar have mixed up a few special $4 concoctions called Love Stinks, Stupid Cupid, Bitter End, and Arrow Thru my Heart. Forget a pick-me-up, this is down with love. So, if you happen to meet your soulmate while simultaneously shredding remnants of the last jerk or jerkess, do us a favor and wait until summer before making it Facebook official.
Toss your own Galentine’s Party – Because it’s sexist to suggest that only women get depressed about being unattached on Valentine’s Day – and a little ridiculous to think that anyone does – we suggest nixing the “gal” part and inviting your favorite ladies and gents to a soiree celebrating love of all types. Who needs to dress in black and feel morose when you could don your hottest sequin cocktail dress or favorite smokin’ bow tie and party down with friends of the non-romantic variety? Artizone’s put together a comprehensive Valentine's Day section with a list of “Decadent Desserts” and “Edible Aphrodisiacs” – yowza? – that they’ll ship right to your door, including lobster and oysters from TJ’s, red velvet bundt cakes from Butterfield, and Godiva chocolate liquor from Dallas Fine Wine and Spirits. Keep it PG or play spin the bottle – the choice is yours because you call the shots!
For a slightly evil twist, consider telling your married friends, “Aw, it’s okay. I’m sure you’ll be single and get to come next year.”