The X List: 9 stunning revelations from Mike Tyson’s (canceled) one-man show

by Todd Maternowski

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The good citizens of Grand Prairie can breathe a little easier tonight.

While Mike Tyson may have canceled his one-man touring show, that doesn't mean that his legions of fans should be deprived of some fun facts. Here are nine stunning revelations from his show.

Iron Mike, seen here giving knife evaluation tips to a filthy foreigner

#1: Tyson's trademark high-pitched lisp came about thanks to a tragic misunderstanding in his early training years, when he mistook "punching the bag" to mean "delivering thousands of devastating haymakers to his own nutsack."

#2: He once bit a man for snorin' too loud.

#3: Voted Tiger Beat's "Least Threatening Black Man" in 1986.

#4: Floats like an oil barge, sings way off key.

#5: Always thought "TKO" stood for "Tall Skinny Ostrich."

#6: Used to intimidate his opponents by entering the ring to the theme song to Jem.

#7: He and Gary Busey once ate an entire set of +5 plate armor just to win a bet with an imaginary coyote.

#8: Has trained his army of 350 pigeons to maul Buster Douglas on sight.

#9: Had dreamed since childhood of becoming a cautionary tale of American excess.