Friday, February 22, 2013
Join us in a drinking game for the 2013 Academy Awards
At your house, the Oscar goes to the person who has to call in sick to work on Monday.
The Oscars are notorious for two things -- red carpet glamor and movies that some of us haven't found the time to see. But us plebeians will be glued to the television Sunday night for some Hollywood magic. Why not spice things up a bit?
Join us in an Oscars drinking game honoring the most important movies featuring the most important thespians of 2012.
The drinking game:
Every time one of the following movies or someone involved with them wins an award, follow the respective rules ...
Lincoln — Put your hand over your heart and cheers to our great nation, then take one patriotic drink.
Silver Linings Playbook — The last person to put up field goal arms has to finish his or her drink.
Argo — Drink as much as you need to cope with Ben Affleck making a movie about a fake movie.
Life of Pi — Take one drink for animal rights.
Les Miserables — Pour one out for the homies and then drink twice, to both sorrow and pain.
Zero Dark Thirty — Take one drink if you liked the movie; two if you consider it propaganda. If you’re neutral on the subject, holler a loud “Cheers!” for controversy and moderate the impending arguments between those who drank once and twice.
Amour — Trade drinks and a European kiss on each cheek with the person on your left.
Beasts of the Southern Wild — Don’t drink, your inner child would be disappointed.
Django Unchained — Take a shot and shoot your finger guns to the sky while hollering like a mad cowboy.
Take half a sip anytime someone "thanks the Academy." Pace yourself.
Finish your drink when host Seth MacFarlane does a Family Guy impression.
Anytime someone says something about how Helen Hunt (The Sessions) looks naked, drink until the image is out of your head.
If Amy Adams (The Master) wins, drink for how many times you’ve pictured her naked.
If Robert De Niro is up for the Oscar but does not win, take five drinks (that’s how many times he has been nominated, but lost). If he does win, clap. It’s the first time in 32 years.
Red carpet fashion faux pas:
Drink once for every exposed naval or over-exposed bosom
Drink twice for every hideous updo
Drink thrice for every floor-to-waist slit in a dress
Finish your drink if Anne Hathaway doesn’t look stunning