Monday, July 1, 2013
Wendy Davis’ popular tennis shoes spur hilarious reviews on Amazon.com
Watch out gentlemen, these shoes will liberate your wife, according to reviews.
Texas state Sen. Wendy Davis’ now-famous shoes are still in the news. The pink Mizuno Wave Rider 16s that she wore during her filibuster last week are now the most-viewed item on Amazon.com, reports Andrea Gallo on The Dallas Morning News Trailblazers Blog.
In addition to getting tons of hits, the Amazon page is getting tons of user reviews of the shoes, the vast majority of which are tongue-in-cheek. We rounded up excerpts of some of the most amusing:
Cowboy boots are expensive, uncomfortable, and needlessly ornate. These are the preferred shoes for putting the boot to the patriarchy!
Maybe the pair I received was defective, but I was disappointed to discover that the shoes did not allow me to withhold my bladder for 13 hours as other reviewers have claimed.
These shoes are a must for any woman who needs to kick a little butt around the legislature. I find the lavender-colored version to go perfectly with my mostly turquoise-and-lavender wardrobe.
The shoe fits perfectly on the backsides of neanderthal males and can also do a wonderful job of helping them sing soprano. If you live in Texas, this shoe is a must-have accessory for any self-actualized woman who wants to make a memorable impression on the male sex.
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Earlier this week, as I was in the kitchen of my trailer grabbing my husband his 6th beer of the day while he played video games, I caught a clip of the morning news. They were reporting about something called a filibuster. I was thinking to myself, “That must be some vacuum if it made the news. I wonder if it is better than my old Kirby vacuum cleaner?” Suddenly, they switched to talking about some government woman in Texas who stood for 10 hours straight in a pair of pink Mizuno running shoes and didn’t even have a back ache. She won some sort of prize, I’m guessing, cuz her face has been all over the news and even made front page of our local paper.
After pouring my husband his beer, I adjusted the tin-foil wrapped rabbit ears on my black and white television for better reception and dropped into my camouflaged recliner to take a load off my pregnant belly. I thought, I would love to have a pair of them shoes if it would help with all the standing I do in the kitchen. These twins are hard on my back. So, I asked my husbands permission to buy a pair and he said I could after I get my chores done. I ordered a pair off the interweb using my 56k dial-up from a place called Amazon and received the shoes today. I tried them on immediately and I must say that I have never felt so liberated in my life. I actually went for a walk outside without asking my husbands permission. I dare say, I’m even thinking about making him cook his own breakfast.
I just hope that Rick Perry doesn’t get wind of these miraculous shoes. He might make them illegal to own.
Wore these on a 13 hour hike where I plodded on dull, gray rocks for hours and did not falter once. Encountered unrestrained mules with ass-like behavior — but to be fair, it seemed they’d never encountered a woman before. Only downside: never had to actually use the “running” feature of this running shoe.
Love the color and the fit…but would like to see an elephant pattern on the bottom; it would improve the traction!
My wife bought a pair of these to wear around the house and for trips to the store and things like that. I prefer that she remain barefoot, but some unenlightened liberal types insist that the naked foot isn’t healthy or clean or some such. If bare feet were good enough for Jesus, they’re good enough for my wife, I say. Anyway, letting her get these shoes was a huge mistake. Suddenly she insists that one child is enough for us and now she’s reading books instead of cleaning the house and having my dinner ready when I get home. She says she doesn’t need to ask me who to vote for anymore and told me to clean my own guns. I had a happy home until these shoes came along. I would write more but I’m coking [sic] dinner for myself while my wife is down at the Capitol telling our governor that she should make her own decisions about her body. These shoes are homewreckers plain and simple.
I desperately need a new pair of sneaks but I can’t decide on the color. should I get the pink or the yellow? Oh, if only someone with a penis would make the decision for me……