Sunday, June 9, 2013
Fort Worth and Arlington apparently rank in the country’s top 10 redneck cities
You might be a redneck if ...
A quirky real estate blog recently ranked Fort Worth sixth and Arlington seventh in a line-up of the top 10 redneck cities in Amurica. (Oh shoot, I meant America. D-FW is really getting to me.) The post seems to be warning readers where not to move if they are “regular people” and where to move if they are “country bumpkins.” Swell.
Anyway, the author, who hails from Austin, calls herself an “adventurer” and “hot chocolate aficionado,” and proudly salutes her hometown for its “open-mindedness,” yet thinks rednecks are a problem for those regular people. Bless her heart. We all know her attitude just ain’t Texan.
According to her, rednecks carry guns, wear cowboy boots, go to Walmart at 1 a.m., worship NASCAR, and “high school was just something they did for a couple of years.” Maybe this is all true, but making fun of rednecks is just not good sport, unless you are one, of course.
Here comes the kicker — she ranked Atlanta, a city with more African-Americans than white people, the most redneck America. Other winners are Kansas City, Mo.; Oklahoma City; Nashville, Tenn.; Tulsa, Okla.; Sacramento, Calif.; Cleveland; and Mesa, Ariz.
Among her “essential” criteria are the percentage of the population that didn’t complete high school, the number of nearby NASCAR tracks, and the number of guns-and-ammo stores, taxidermists, cowboy boot stores, country radio stations, Walmarts, and riding lawn mower repair shops in each city. Even though Atlanta was No. 1 on the list, it beat Fort Worth and Arlington for high school graduates. The U.S. Census Bureau says only 79 percent of Fort Worth residents and 84 percent of Arlington residents have graduated from high school, while 87 percent of Atlanta has at least a high school diploma. But hey, Dallas County is lower than all of those cities with 77 percent high school graduates, and Dallas didn’t make the redneck list.
The other criteria are hardly an insult. Texas Motor Speedway is one among many entertainment attractions, as are Western wear and gun stores. Honestly, who doesn’t enjoy shopping deals at Walmart? And anyone with a Texas-sized lawn appreciates his or her riding lawn mower.
So when an Austinite brands Fort Worth and Arlington in the top 10 redneck cities, we can just laugh it off. Now a list of top 10 yuppie cities … maybe we could take that seriously.