Kinky Friedman in Dallas: “When I die, I want my ashes thrown in Rick Perry’s hair”

by Jessica Harp

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Read other gems from his evening at Poor David's Pub in Dallas.

DALLAS — Cowboy troubadour and comedian extraordinaire Kinky Friedman made a stop on the second leg of his BiPolar World Tour in Dallas on Texas Independence Day at Poor David’s Pub on Saturday night. He teased fans with a possible bid to run for governor once again, which gave way to loud whoops and thunderous applause from those at the intimate show.

In between singing songs from his new live solo album Live From Woodstock, reading an excerpt from his book Heroes Of A Texas Childhood, and hawking his Man In Black tequila -- or as he calls it, “mexican mouthwash” -- the Jewish cowboy entertained fans with his opinions on the state of political affairs in Texas. Here are a few of the hilarious -- and sometimes philosophical and painfully truthful -- things Kinky said during his performance.

“The fact that we almost put Willie in jail is as ridiculous as the fact that we invented Texas Hold ‘Em and we can’t even play it here.” Although he failed to take Rick Perry’s place as governor, that hasn’t stopped the cigar-smoking man from campaigning for a few things he believes will help get the state, and the country, out of serious debt: the legalization and taxation of marijuana, and the legalization of gambling in the state.

“When I die, I want to be cremated, and I want my ashes thrown in Rick Perry’s hair.”

“Limit them all to two terms: one in office and one in prison,” Kinky said of all politicians currently in office.

Kinky retold a joke, first imparted by Willie Nelson: “If you are going to have sex with an animal, have sex with a horse: That way you have a ride home.”

“I think political correctness is destroying our country. I think we are there. I think we are to the point now where if a young Richard Pryor had come in here tonight, we couldn’t make a big star out of him anymore. The same goes for the great American philosopher George Carlin.”

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