Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Big Tex — an inanimate object — talks in third person, prefers nickname “Big”
We're not buying it.
FAIR PARK Big Tex is in recovery. We saw last week a computer animation of Big Tex's hand -- still in the design phase, but coming along seemingly fine. He needs those hands for all that waving he's about to do this fall.
The State Fair of Texas' press office has recently kept us updated on Big Tex's progress, even naming the 2013 fair in honor of him since he was burned in a fire last year. But on Tuesday morning, a puzzling behind-the-scenes story written by Texas freelancer Dallas Small proved to us that there is such a thing as too much news about Big Tex's progress.
The story "interviews" Big Tex -- who is an inanimate object, and a somewhat sickly one at that (since the fire and all). We're not about to say Big Tex isn't real, but, um, he's a 52-foot statue. Still, the essay quotes Big Tex, who prefers the moniker "Big," another peeve since we are certain that if he were a real person and were to pick his own nickname, it would most certainly be "Tex." Anyway.
According to "Big," some of the highlights of his six decades standing were meeting Elvis and Oprah. Cue the cowboy: "But you know what? Nothing really comes up to the thrill of being honored as The One and Only. That makes Big and the State Fair of Texas both unique. And ‘unique’ is not a word that Big tosses around lightly. It’s special. Very special."
Try to read Big Tex's quote with a thick southern drawl. Still doesn't work.
Now, we get the gesture. But for goshdarn sakes, if "Big" is going to talk on-the-record, give us a little yee-haw, a howdy. And don't make him talk in third person.
There's good news, though. In the essay, we learn that "Big" apparently appreciates the get-well-soon letters he's received. They're making him feel better. OK, you got us: Big Tex is real, and he reads each letter at night before he glugs a cold glass of milk and tucks himself into his very giant bed. Keep sending the letters.
Big Tex Says He’s “Humbled” By State Fair’s New Theme
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