Saturday, May 18, 2013
Survey: Books women read in airports determine promiscuity
The findings are questionable at best.
Continuing in our series about gross press releases we’ve received about the company MissTravel.com (see this one from a few months back), we just got this breaking (as in breaking all ability not to think “Ewwwwww!”) news about a new survey they’ve conducted. Seems, they say, a woman’s reading material while traveling (on the plane, bus, or perhaps as seen through her car window as you’re speeding past her on the freeway) can pretty much determine whether she’d be willing to participate in a travel hook-up. Ick, ick, ick, ick. Can’t get that nasty taste out of my mouth anytime soon — just the thought that the guy across the aisle might be judging his chances at a booty call while studying my copy of BossyPants or Gone Girl or, heaven forbid (according to this dreck), The Great Gatsby.
Here are the results of the survey about reading preferences, travel, and relationships, conducted with 47,320 women members of MissTravel.com, according to the press release. Also, here’s gross quote from Brandon Wade, founder and CEO of the company: “We found it interesting that most women only read when they are traveling. … We wanted to take that information and see if we could find meaning behind the books they choose, and use it help guide the single man in his search for romance abroad.” Eighty-three percent of women read only when traveling, survey says, at least those in MissTravel.com’s membership. It’s billed as the world’s only “travel-dating website.” Well, now I know who not to invite to my book club.
If she’s reading The Great Gatsby or Silver Linings Playbook, she’s probably hooked up with a stranger before, and history often repeats itself. Chance she’s DTF: Odds are 3 to 1. [If you don't know what DTF stands for, I'm not about to tell you. Google it, and then wash your brain out with soap.]
If she’s reading Divergent or Game of Thrones, she is probably willing and able, but is looking for more than just a one-time thing. Chance she’s DTF: Odds are 2 to 1 with strings attached.
If she’s reading Fifty Shades or Crossfire, she’s looking to be rescued from a loveless, passionless love life. Chance she’s DTF: Odds are 2 to 1.
If she’s reading BossyPants or Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, it could go either way. Chance she’s DTF: Odds are 4 to 1.
If she’s reading Gone Girl or 12th of Never, she is probably more interested in the outcome of her book than hooking up with you. Chance she’s DTF: Odds are 7 to 1.
So, ladies, be careful what you read on that plane trip to Maui. You never know who’s watching. Ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ptooey. No, that nasty taste is still there.
What’re your thoughts on this? Agree? Disagree? Other book titles that might “broadcast” something? Get in on the conversation below.