Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Odd man out: Tales of getting turned down during The Real World audition in Dallas
After meeting some aspiring reality TV stars, I wouldn't make for good television.
DALLAS The news is in and it’s official: I am, in fact, too normal to be on The Real World.
When I arrived at Redrock Bar and Grill in North Dallas Saturday for The Real World audition — a Pegasus News assignment that secretly fulfilled an adolescent dream — I thought I had that chilled-out edge, don’t-give-a-crap attitude that would spark the interest of the talent scouts. After all, the rest of the twenty-somethings huddled over paper applications seemed relatively harmless. They actually looked like they had gone on a group shopping trip to Abercrombie & Finch beforehand. Guess I missed the memo.
The moment I got in line for the group interview is when normalcy started to flounder. I was squeezed between two men — totally wasted to my left and too much hair gel to my right. I was OK with small talk from the guy on the left. But being ogled while some drunk guy tries to convert me to the Christian faith was more than I signed up for. Guy on Left was also a physical trainer and expected to be ogled in similar fashion, and -- yes -- he flexed his biceps to prove it.
I was only at Redrock for about an hour total, and MTV deserves some kudos for conducting group interviews of 10 at a time at a rather snappy pace. But I should've taken cues from the rest of the group and knocked back a few drinks beforehand.
In the group interview, the scouts asked us each to state our name, hometown, age, and an interesting fact. It was a seemingly simple request that got lost among the long-winded stories about my acquaintances’ physical ailments, club promotions, daddy issues, fetishes, sexual orientations, and, again, religion. In a moment of panic, I chose probably one of the lesser interesting facts about myself — I’m kind of awesome at disc golf. To compete with this bunch I definitely should have mentioned that time in college I tried out for Playboy. (Sorry dad!)
After the group session, I wasn't asked a follow-up question, let alone given a second interview. But the scout assured us they were looking for the contestants to “just be real.” I did that, so I can accept this loss and my intrinsic boringness. Being in close confines with Real World's "real" crazy people for four months might actually rub off on me. I could have ended up covered in hair gel.
Yeah, I think I’ll put this loss in the win column.
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