Monday, January 27, 2014
“Grown sexy?” 5 questionable choices from The Bachelor‘s live TV wedding
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Sean was insistent that he and Catherine write their own vows. They provided some of the best lines of the night.
I’ve been to a number of weddings in my day, none of which took place in the middle of my living room. However, such was the case tonight with ABC’s two-hour special of The Bachelor that showcased season 17′s Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici’s live “fairytale wedding.”
In case you don’t know, Catherine beat out 25 other hopeful singles for Sean’s heart and got engaged to Lowe in Thailand on the The Bachelor season finale in 2013. While Sunday's marquee event was the couple’s live wedding, the first hour and fifteen minutes of the two-hour program was dedicated to the planning of the big day -- everything from the wedding cake to the type of lingerie that Giudici would wear.
The ceremony was officiated by Lowe’s father Jay and was attended by a slew of former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants as well as a few familiar faces from Lowe’s Dancing with the Stars days, including Andy Dick and Lisa Vanderpump. Vanderpump, of course, had her dog Giggy in her arms. (Lesson learned: don’t bring dogs to weddings.)
The ceremony was planned by celebrity wedding mainstay Mindy Weiss and was a visual testament to white roses and outdoor chandeliers. For a first time Bachelor viewer like myself, there were a ton of moments that had me scratching my head and wishing I could turn it to the Grammys. Without further recap, here’s five of The Bachelor wedding’s most ridiculous moments:
1. “Grown Sexy:” Catherine Giudici had a clear plan for her big day, and that came in the form of two, often-repeated, mostly misunderstood words: “grown sexy.” I started taking tally of the times the phrase was said but stopped after 20. Almost everyone Catherine mentioned the phrase to was confused. Sean simply started muttering words like “mind-blowing” and “festive” to describe the wedding, but Catherine quickly cut him off saying “you’re just saying words now, you’re saying ketchup.” Interestingly enough, I think ketchup is a helluva lot better concept than “grown sexy.” Perhaps the most uncomfortable moment of the night came when Catherine presented her theme to celebrity wedding planner Mindy Weiss, saying, “I want everyone to feel so sexy that they conceive that night.” Later on in the show, Sean asks for further explanation behind the “grown sexy” wedding to which Catherine replied “subtle touches of sex, like Robin Thicke.” Grown sexy? More like groan sexy.
2. Catherine’s morbid vows: Sean was insistent that he and Catherine write their own vows, and thankfully so, because they provided some of the best lines of the night. Sean’s vows were pretty vanilla, filled with talks of eternity and happiness. Catherine’s were a different a story. Maybe it was nerves, but Catharine’s vows came off completely morbid. Lines like “I promise to love you until my heart bursts” and “I can’t wait to shine together and make everyone completely blind,” makes one think that Catherine isn’t just a bride, but a movie villain too.
3. We get it, Sean’s saving himself: Dubbed “The Virgin Bachelor” by host Chris Harrison, Lowe’s decision to save himself for his wedding night was one of the program’s much belabored points. Sometimes subtle, other times blatant, the Bachelor producers wanted to make sure America remembered Lowe and Catherine’s “traditional” decision. To resist any temptation, Lowe went as far as living in a completely separate house than his fiancee. Did you miss that fact? The couple only mentioned it 27 times.
4. Catherine’s lingerie: It was hard to find a scene during that special that didn’t feature what type of lingerie Catherine would be wearing on her wedding night. If someone wasn’t talking about it, someone else was shopping for it, or Catherine herself was showing it off. A funny moment came when Sean was shopping for the lingerie and, when asked what size Catherine was, simply replied “I don’t know, she’s a chesty woman.”
5. Jay Lowe FTW: Of all the characters I was introduced, Jay Lowe was my favorite. Sean’s dad is genuinely likeable and gave perhaps the most politically correct description of how Sean and Catharine met, calling it “an epic fairytale on display for the world to see.” We’ll never hear The Bachelor be talked about in such high regard again.
So, what did you guys think? Was The Bachelor wedding everything you hoped and dreamed for?