DC Anonymous

It's always a bad sign when there's a "LOCKS CHANGED" note on the door.

3 months, 1 week ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

DC Anonymous

Food: 2/5  Vibe: 3/5  Service: 2/5  Value: 3/5  Overall: 3/5

On this occasion, we tell them, no, you come pick us up. I manage to ward them off long enough to shower and change. For some reason, I would think that they would be on Pacific Standard Time.

Regardless, they come by and we jump in for the ride. There's plenty of parking around. I appreciate this especially since the valets at Hatties still look bored. It's about 8 on a Saturday and there are plenty of tables available. We're seated next to a particularly evil looking baby. I scan the table and see they're almost done, so I don't protest.

We're seated at a four in the middle of the room where I have a view of the hall into the bathroom. The bar area on the left looks friendly if not exactly popping with activity. Yes, they do have plates of famous Texans at the entrance. It's part Norman Rockwell and part Wal Mart - perfect, really. Ok, so, Jayne Mansfield looks pretty hot - you know, for a plate.

For some reason we order up a pitcher of sangria. It's a little unusual, but it's ok since we've got someone else driving. It's really orange juice and booze in there somewhere. I feel like I should be on a spring break snowboarding trip. Of course, they have to scan your ID because we're in some kind of dry zone.

We start out with a plate of calamari. It looks like it's come from a mixed bag of culled squid because the size varies from huge tubes to tiny whole cephalopods. The marinara style sauce is all right overall. However, for some reason, our server is obsessed with taking out plate. He risks a significant forking from one of us early in the meal.

I order the pasta sofia because it promises purses of poultry, jalapeno, pesto and cilantro. We also have a pizza and some snapper en route. I guess I didn't realize others might get sucked into the pasta sofia in the past.

I'm surprised that our server brings me a salad. Somehow I missed that on the menu, but I'm all right with adding some roughage to the meal.

Unfortunately, I hate it. It's ugly. I mean, it looks like bag salad covered in dill and creme. There is also a bisected mini tomato that's been tossed on the plate in an apparent attempt to use plate as a verb. The greens are smothered in the sauce that on actually tasting has the consistency of what I imagine melted tires would have.

I'm a few bites in when the server asks if he can take the plate again. This time, I acquiesce.

On to the entrees! As far as the presentation, the snapper is wrapped in a huge slab of proscuitto and floats gently on a massive waterbed of beans. The pizza looks to be fairly reasonable on first glance. My pasta sofia looks like a small collection of wontons - kind of fun on first look!

I decide to attack one with a left handed fork attack and bisect it from top through bottom. The contents are a muddled looking lot of ingredients, but perhaps it's going to be awesome!

On my left, he tells me that he's really impressed with the fish. I'm skeptical, but I don't try it. I can't be sure that in doing so I wouldn't be violating the herpes death pact I entered in to some time ago. Social phobias can be both difficult and useful. Probably should have just stabbed the opposite end, but he seems happy.

As far as the pizza goes, it's all right. The meats are ok. I mean, they comment several times that they use Jimmy's sausage all over the menu, but it still could stand to be cut fresh. The margins of the crust are all right, but the middle is kind of wet. This isn't really the kind of texture I rate as awesome.

The pasta sofia is a betrayal. The contents look like a chicken breast, some creme cheese, peppers and cilanto got acquainted in a blender since they're a uniform consistency. It's also not spicy in the least. Personally, I think cilantro is the banana of the leafy vegetable group - add it to anything and it tastes like cilantro. Yet, somehow it's missing.

Worse yet, the pasta is dark and tough on one side of about half the 'purses'. Hmmm....using the best skills available at Scotland Yard, I deduce one of two things. Either the pasta was boiling and the water fell below the level necessary to cover the pasta or it's been reheated.

Long sigh.

Somehow, the others seem like they're fairly pleased with their dishes. I'm not sure where to go with my plate, so when my server comes by in about 2 minutes to take the plate, I let him.

We decide against dessert and move on.

Prices: about $30 a person including a glass or so of sangria.

Kind of disappointing. Return visit? It's possible, but I wouldn't necessarily seek it out as is. What do I think would make this outstanding? First of all, lose the whole Tex - fusion theme - it's confusing, contrived and overreaching for the kitchen. Reminds me of the tortilla soup at DFM and the entire idea at Fuse - lame. I would say if they want to do Tex-fusion, they should do classical Italian made with local ingredients - Texas beef, wheat for pasta made in house, chievre from Deep Ellum, local produce and give me real Italian this way - this could be outstanding.

About 11:30 that night he says "Where's my ID?" After a second, we remember.

Thanks.

Oh yes, pre-emptively, some might ask why I've been critical of a couple of the Bishop Arts restaurants so far. Well, it's because they haven't been very good. I really want them to succeed, but I'm not about to go supporting suckitude. The neighborhood's a great place and with some really good restaurants there might be hope. Stay tuned.

5 months, 1 week ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )