Coal Vines

jjdallas says:

• Food:

  3/5

• Vibe:

  4/5

• Service:

  3/5

• Value:

  2/5

• Overall:

  3/5

Some people love Coal Vines, others hate it. I fall in the middle. Sure, it's great people watching, but the crowds sometimes can be annoying. The pizza is good, but it is not great. I haven't tried anything else on the menu. The wine selection is decent, but kind of overpriced. The space inside can be cramped too. If this review sounds wishy-washy, its because I don't have a real strong opinion either way about this place.

micastio says:

• Food:

  3/5

• Vibe:

  3/5

• Service:

  3/5

• Value:

  3/5

• Overall:

  3/5

The pizza here is fine. Wine selection okay. When we came it was quiet, not too much of a 'scene', which was fine. Tables are small so the pizza hardly fits.
Overall not enthralled, I think Taverna does this style of food better.

DC says:

• Food:

  2/5

• Vibe:

  2/5

• Service:

  3/5

• Value:

  2/5

• Overall:

  2/5

It's hot. We're in Uptown. I need a quick bite before getting some more work done later.

Coal Vines? Sure, why not? We walk over from Fairmount past the dreaded Old Warsaw and lead ourselves up to the entrance. One of the red + black dressed hostesses offers us a table inside or outside. Except there are no tables inside. Outside it is.

It's still pretty damn hot. The fans help and we're too hungry to move on.

Since it's a working night, not really drinking. Maybe it would have helped. We're looking for something satisfying but not too heavy. We decide on a baby spinach salad, caesar salad and a veal calzone. One tea and one coke, please.

The cola comes in a bottle. Very nice. Charge it up for the refills. We're not offered bottled water, which, of course, I appreciate.

The spinach salad is not too bad, although it is drenched with dressing. Probably they could have saved about 2/3 of it and it would have been just as good.

With the caesar, at least they could have hit it with a hammer or something so the thought that it wasn't salad in a bag would have crossed my mind. Strictly Albertson's grade.

Sitting here for a while, you'll see a pattern. The manager or owner or whomeever he is will come to greet you if you are leaving your Maserati with the valet. Ford Taurus or walk ups? Not worth the trouble.

Waiting for the calzone, I have to wonder: has noone here ever heard of sunblock? I mean, if someone's driving a hundred thousand dollar car, shouldn't a $5 investment be worthwhile in preventing some liver spots? Apparently not, as there are guys driving Bentleys wearing Citizens accompanied by the leathery and eating disordered everywhere.

The calzone is kind of like a wet slab of cardboard wrapped around some neutral veal. It's not offensive, but it basically tastes like nothing. The side dipping sauce achieves the same effect.

In all fairness, the brunch menu does look interesting, and sure, I'd try it. I also didn't really dive into their wines, so that probably would have helped. Also, our server was a very nice young woman who seemed somewhat oblivious to her surroundings.

Overall, the food was pretty terrible on this visit and the vibe made me go straight home to read an issue of both Giant Robot and Juxtapoz before getting that work done.

webra says:

• Food:

  4/5

• Vibe:

  3/5

• Service:

  3/5

• Value:

  3/5

• Overall:

  4/5

If you're in the mood for something different, try Coal Vines for Sunday brunch. They have some unusual pizza toppings such as lox and eggs. I LOVE the crust. My only complaint was that I wished they had used smoked salmon instead of plain lox. It was actually too salty for my taste, but my husband enjoyed it. We also discovered that when the menu says "Personal" size pizza, it really means "Medium".

The French Toast was also surprisingly good and was a fairly large portion. Their Frittatas also looked really good on the table next to me, but we I haven't tried them yet.

For the best service, try to get there when they open (11:00 AM) and make sure you aren't in a hurry. That place is VERY small and fills up quickly.