NOVE Italiano (Closed) | Dallas | www.pegasusnews.com

Food:
3/5
Vibe:
3/5
Service:
2/5
Value:
2/5
Overall:
3/5

After the Kenichi fiasco, we decide to make a stand - for Victory! So, we wander our way north into N9NE - one of the most improbable words to type. Regardless, the AC works and I approach the hostess.

No reservations? Well, you can have a seat at the lounge or at the bar.

We take a look around and see that the tables are at about ankle level, meaning that staying here will involve eating forty dollar steaks while conversing with a table full of crotch. As well, the circular bar appears to be pretty much the worst idea ever to actually talk to anyone.

Another pass.

Over at NOVE, we're greeted by the infamous corset girls. I feel sorry for them, with their baked potato complexions and tortured physiques.

We actually get a table and almost relax.

Almost. Chet - or whatever his name is, (Duuude, who like totally like does your like highlights?) quickly breaks into our discussion to show us the cocktail menu. Sure, whatever, we go for a couple.

Then, immediately, someone else, let's call him Eugene, asks if we need help with the menu. What we really need is the menu. Maybe he is the sommelier.

Someone else, Sharon perhaps, asks us for waters. I'm a tap snob and apparently that doesn't fly. Whatever. I really am not into stupid still water and as long as anyone thinks the fecal content in some cities adds to the flavour, I'm vindicated. (Don't even start on the Royal York...)

For an opener, we order the salumi. It's actually pretty decent. There are five meats, from a fun prosciutto de Parma to a variety of breads, this is a great snack. Apparently the kitchen is not responsible for anything but the cutting, but I suppose like marrying well, if it works...

On a recommendation, I order the Sunday Gravy. Yes, it's a typical Italian dish, a penne style pasta and tomato sauce with as many red meats as you can imagine brioche, meatballs and sausage as you can imagine. The brioche may be foretelling you something, though, what with it's counterclockwise rotation and all.

Carbonara is, well, carbonara, with an exceptionally (un) healthy dollop of salt. Borat nice. It's not bad, but I'm not excited about it, especially with the shortage of tap water.

What happened to Sarah, Brad and the rest of the seating assault? It's a little difficult having the wine delivered before we're most of the way through the dish.

By now, the Vegas comparisons are ad nauseum, I know, so I'll limit my comments to the bar. What's the point in having a television in this place? It's poorly located so noone can really see it and falls completely out of place. I don't really think seeing Frinfrock rounds out the Vegas theme.

By this time, I am having the meat shakes, so I could pass on dessert. She orders the cannoli and seems reasonably pleased with the whole thing.

Damages? For two, not including wine, with a cocktail, two entrees and a split salumi, $125 before tip.

I ask, how did this happen? The food was no better than Campisi's or Porta di Roma, but it was 4 times the price. Is it to support the hostess' time at Darque? Is is for the LED wine thing? Again, I didn't feel like I fell asleep and woke up in Miami.

Well, another Friday night in the books. Will we check it all out again? Undoubtedly - probably next time on the expense account, though. Not going to be taking pictures of the food anytime soon, though. I do actually enjoy this stuff.

Until the next episode...