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DC, anonymous:

Overall:

• Quality:

  4/5

• Vibe:

  2/5

• Service:

  4/5

• Value:

  2/5

It’s difficult to decide which cliché to start this piece with. Maybe ‘the more things change’ would be a reasonable place to begin. Although, ‘the beginning of the end’ may be good too. Why would I choose these phrases and this restaurant now? Well, visiting this address may be the bookends of our time here in Dallas. We’ll see where this goes.

As everyone knows all ready Victor Tangos used to be some hard door nightclub where girls from the old Drama Room used to come to pick up guys in high rising pants after a night of bottle ratting. Presumably everyone also knows that there was some Dallas chef who was involved in some business thing with some other local chain style expensive casual restaurants that I can’t really remember so read those stories again if you’re in love with celebrity celery slingers according to D Magazine.

You cannot park directly outside of VTs. You will use the complimentary valet. YOU WILL. We were moving too fast to see if they were working for my old nemesis Lone Star, so off with the car they go!

We ended up here completely on a whim, although it was not our first visit. Our first visit was more of a stand around yelling at each other while drinking sort of affair. It turns out this one wouldn’t be too much different.

You won’t yell at your friends or dining partners because you’re angry, you’ll yell at them because it is really damned loud in there. You won’t appreciate the renovation to the space immediately because there’ll be some alt-rock blasting you in the face.

Once you’re over that, the one neatly dressed hostess will ask if you would like one of the high chairs in the bar or if you’d like to wait about 40 minutes. We took the high chairs.

Fitting the ‘bare-steraunt? theme the menu is half and half drinks and food. Dishes are mostly in the too small to call real so re-market them as share plates sizes.

Since we’re in the bar section, that means that one of the running bar tenders has meal and drink duties at the same time. We wonder then why he isn’t allowed to use the sloppy tie uniforms inflicted on the table staff.

The cocktails are good. Fresh ingredients, not full of stupid ice chips, not fifteen dollars. She’s particularly fond of the Lightning Bug – cute and delicious, just like real life!

Specials are written chalkboard style behind the bar, but it is hard to know if Oysters Granite Flatbread is one, two or three dishes.

We have a plate of unexceptional but parasite free oysters from Maine. That is all the information available. That being said, the cucumber and strawberry icy aforementioned granite was perfect for this miserable heat.

Beyond that we also took on a ceviche style shrimp salad and chips, that again although somewhat a citrus mango punch in the face was a decent size to share. Although spicy, it was not hot.

To keep going, we finished off with the bone marrow plate. I appreciate what’s going on with this in that it’s really a slightly burnt butter like fat spread and some overdone toast served up with some slimy onions designed to end any evening in anything other than making smack smack with faces. Oh, that didn’t come out very well. Rather I quite enjoyed this dish even though once again there were no hints of anything in it.

Overall, what to say? Sure it’s a drinking place and the food is really kind of secondary. However, even with that in mind it wasn’t bad for bar food. It’s just there was absolutely nothing subtle about everything. Each plate is really like a lawnmower for your palate, more Megan Fox than Emmanuelle Chiriqui.

Of course the complimentary valet is standing in my open door expecting me to tip him. Of course, I could except that my hands are busy trying to re-adjust my seat so I can get to the controls.

Why here and why now?

It has been a few years since our first visit to Dallas. As I recall on one of our first trips here we had dinner at Hibiscus. It was rather late, but one of the wait staff gave us chocolate cake at Sense.

At the time, Dallas struck me as a young, dynamic city. It seemed then one with little regard for its’ own history perhaps as its’ fabric or peril. Either way, I was also impressed with the greasy types, strange fake tans and people’s obsessions with sports analogies. I liked the potential for downtown. At this address they’ve changes the tablecloths, but the taps are still in the same places.

There’s been a lot of travel lately and it looks like the foreseeable future may very well see the Dallas chapters coming to an end. Stay posted and see if I can eat my way out of DFW…