I have been a happily married man for almost four months now, but I couldn't help but notice an ad for Singlesnet.com (on this site, no less -- no worries, they're not an actual sponsor).
This ad is typical of the ploy dating websites use to rope in desperate guys -- "Look, women like Sarah are just waiting for you on our site!" Except "Sarah" is not real -- the fine print points out that "photos in this ad may not be of actual singlesnet.com members." Of course, a lot of horny guys wouldn't pay attention to that nonsense, and gladly throw away pony up their hard-earned dough, thinking that a girl like "Sarah" is just a click away.
Guys, just go to a bar. That way, if nothing else, your wasted money will at least get you drunk.
Comments
Pavel Lishin Verified
Yes, but:
1) There are free dating sites
2) Dating sites let you weed out the crazies and the homeless early-on.
"I live at home with my best friends Muffles, Kit-kit, and Muppet - the cutest kitties in the world! - and their twenty-eight siblings."
At the bar, you'd just have to do your best to see if you can smell cat pee.
3) Getting drunk and then picking up chicks is exactly how you end up waking up, looking at what you fell asleep next to, and then quietly sneaking out of the apartment, abandoning all your possessions and moving to a different city.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Chad Jones Staff
Also, I don't think she's really a teacher.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Lisa Lawrence Merritt Verified
Cat pee?
WTF?!
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Rawlins Gilliland Verified
I stopped counting the number of people I know who met their whatever online. Was just at a wedding reception of a well known media goddess. The newly weds met via online dating.
Bottom line; Don't quibble with Pavel here. He speaks the naked truth about Post Stoli/Blue Goose ganders at the the chicks hatched in a coma.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
James Scott Verified
Yeah, the boys in her class are not learning anything I'm sure.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
rhia Anonymous
Well, it doesn't say WHAT she teaches ... or for how much. ;)
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Scott Doyle Verified
Unfortunately, I've gotta back Pavel on this one.
I know that I likely wouldn't be able to cope with someone who types like a preteen (i.e. oMg R u SrS?). Each way has its pros and cons, though. Meeting online always has that seedy period between conversing and actually meeting in which both people wonder if they're going to be the victim of a murderous rampage.
In the end, information is pretty valuable - much more of it to gather from a profile than a dark bar. =p
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Rawlins Gilliland Verified
I met someone pretty wonderful online in 1998 and went to Colombia to meet. 30 year age difference. Dreamy memories of that airport meeting.
Moral to this story?
1) People who would have never met can meet and fall very much in bed and even in love happily thereafter.
2) My experience proved both of #1 and what followed was one hell of a 7 year ride on two continents, including Dallas.
3) Making love and arguing in Spanish is everything I had always imagined.
4) Being and Anglo in love with a Latin is exhausting.
5) Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
^) What's the worst that can happen? Death? Dismemberment? Spending two years in a war torn country at the peak of a drug laced civil war waged by two camps of anti-American guerilla terrorists?
Picky, picky.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Jason Rice Verified
Guys - if you're straight, get into theater. Lot's of chicks and you're the straight guy in the room.
Just sayin' it worked for me.
On the down side, Rawlins pretty much summed up every musical I've ever been near - a drug laced civil war waged by two camps. (Ok, Gilligan's Island was magnificently docile, but I'm not pushing my luck any time soon)
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
jtmbls Anonymous
Provided that the information in the profiles is true. I tried it for about three months and it really never lost that seedy sort of feel. Not much different than being groped by creepos in a bar, imo. (And there are some really strange people out there!)
Rawlins that is a very sweet, romantic story. Maybe I was just on the wrong site!
Jason is right though. Theater, or even better, an acting workshop or improv class is ideal! Although, you will have to weed out the complete narcissists from the ones who are just having fun, it could prove most fruitful and lots of fun!
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Scott Doyle Verified
I'd rather have the option of filtering info right away. Anybody can lie to you anytime.
At least online I relatively knew what I was getting myself into if/when she's not on the pill, poked holes in the condoms, and refuses to abort our one-night-stand bundle of joy.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
jtmbls Anonymous
WTF??? I must have missed that portion of the questionnaire.
Young (aka inexperienced), cheap and now deplorable. How is it that you are still single?
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Scott Doyle Verified
lol, hasn't happened (yet - not that I've been privy to, anyways). IJS, crazies are relatively easier to filter out online than at a bar while I'm inebriated.
And I prefer to think of it as "fiscally efficient". Experience...quite relative. Had my share of guano loco girlfriends. =(
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
AnnMarie Wilson Verified
Well back in the dark ages when AOL was still in DOS format, I meet the man I've been with for 11+ years now online.
Of course it was far different then; and it attracted more GEEKS for GEEKS.
I have several female friends that in the past year have tried online dating. This is a summary of what I've been told.
You (female) cannot be over 25; he can have 1 foot in the grave
You must look like a beauty queen (he can appear to be ready to give birth to twins)
You cannot have active brain cells - but must fawn over his every word. He can't spell, can't type, drives a big truck everyday hauling (nothing against that, but my friends are more white collar people)
She doesn't want to get remarried, but would like a nice relationship that consist of more then cheap meals and sex. He wants either to get married again so someone can take care of him or only want the sex part - oh and a cheap meal and beer at a sports bar.
Not pretty is it (shudder).
Do guys (okay stupid question I know) really expect to find women looking like that above stuck on an online dating site? These guys must also still fall for the Nigerian money scam too.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Jeremy Dunck Staff
I think unreasonable expectations in relationships very often go both ways.
I have a great (male) friend who's encountered similarly unrealistic expectations.
It's the intertubes: there're all sorts of people in those pipes, and they fly by so quick you can't tell them apart, unless they're driving a big truck. Then they get clogged, so you can get a good look.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Mike Orren Staff
What Jeremy said:
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Lisa Lawrence Merritt Verified
AnnMarie: pretty muched nailed it.
The majority of women in America are now single: either single never married and not wanting to marry or divorced and not wanting to remarry.
Wonder what the problem is????
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
jtmbls Anonymous
Eleven years? That is awesome!
Maybe I am just too jaded. I tended to get the impression that the majority of the guys just wanted to get laid…or were serial killers. On top of that, they seemed to be worried that I was either much larger than my picture or just after their money. So, not really the most optimistic lot, myself included.
I think I probably interpret information much more quickly and accurately when I can zone in on someone, look them in the eye, get a feel for their energy level, etc.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
jtmbls Anonymous
Ok - No, I'm not jaded at all! Thanks Orren!
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Jason Rice Verified
How 'bout this:
Go do stuff you like doing.
If people would leave their bloody PC's for 10 hours a week to go do stuff they like doing, they might find other people that left their PC's for 10 hours a week to do stuff they like doing.
Oddly enough, doing that stuff will naturally run you in to other people that like doing that stuff. Some of them may even be of the gender that you would prefer to develop a relationship with.
Crazy, I know, but if you "don't have time" then why bother finding someone. What will you do with them except IM across the house/apt "want 2 C a show?" if both of you meet doing the one thing you have time for - cruising a website, then that's probably what you'll do together.
Go play! (AnnMarie WAS playing and look how well that worked out)
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Rawlins Gilliland Verified
Gee, jtmbls: Imagine men 'just wanting to get laid'. *Can someone steer the uninitiated here to where they can audit a Testosterone 101 course?*
Lemme 'splain that win, lose or draw, men want to get laid the way algae wants to grow. It's like roaches in a rent house; you cannot exterminate it!
Remember that old sayings? “Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get me.” Well, just because they want to get laid doesn’t mean they don’t like you. The trick is to keep ‘em so hungry so that when you finally toss ‘em even a stale Hostess Cup Cake they respond like it’s Bananas Foster.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
David Gouldin Staff
Hey, there's nothing wrong with IMing within the same house. It's much easier to answer the follow up question "what's showing" with a link than trying to be Mr. Moviefone across 2 rooms.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
momzilla Anonymous
I met my husband the traditional way: in a bar. He was with the band. We've been married thirty years now.
Jason's right. If you're doing things you enjoy, you tend to meet people who enjoy the same things whether it's music, skydiving, sports ...
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
rhia Anonymous
I met my husband at work. I was, nominally, his boss. Neither of us were the least bit interested in starting a new relationship at the time, but Cupid decided to use brick bats and 2x4's instead of his usual arrows so.... We worked together another year after starting dating, no one had an issue as I was as hard, or even harder, on him than any of the rest of my crew. We both left that company to further our careers at our choice, not theirs. We've been together over a decade and still make a pretty darn good team.
Do what you love. Open your eyes. Keep your head. Open your heart. Take the chance. Make the jump.
My view on online dating? Even though I know of quite a few successes, I also know someone who has at least four completely different personas on each of the three most major dating sites. (Said I know them, didn't say I liked them.)
BTW, I'm a completely unapologetic geek who has had a love affair with technology since I was a wee bairn sneaking into my dad's workshop to repair the latest technological gadget I'd experimented on. Yes, the internet has allowed us to meet people we would have most likely never met before yet at the same time it allows us to be whoever, or whatever fantasy we prefer, to be.
Online may be an easy way to sit, safely ensconced in your own home, and present your best face - but, so is the person on the other end. Give me face to face any time. The subtle body language, the tone of the voice along with the set of the eyes ....
Caveat Emptor.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
xdavidwattsx Anonymous
I did it the hybrid way. I was online doing something I enjoyed when I met my fiance 8 or 9 years ago. We're getting married next year so it can work quite well. It wasn't an online dating site, but through an online email group about a band we both liked.
So it can and does work quite well. Dating sites, in general, are a little awkward, though. It's a meat market so it's weird. I like it when it's more natural.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
jtmbls Anonymous
Rawlins - Thanks for stating the obvious. What I would give to be able to claim "uninitiated status"! :-) What I should have said was that it seemed to be ALL they were looking for...
Rhia - Ever the fount of wisdom, I am adding you to my favs!
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Pavel Lishin Verified
"How 'bout this: Go do stuff you like doing. If people would leave their bloody PC's for 10 hours a week..."
But being on my PC is what I like doing. :(
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Alex Bentley Staff
Wow -- this thread exploded while I wasn't watching. Full disclosure -- part of the reason I posted this is that the woman pictured brought back negative memories of when I joined a certain Dallas-based dating service.
Many of the profiles I was sent turned out to be ads for porn sites. Now, I like porn as much as the next guy, but that's not what I was using the dating service for. If I can't rely on them to filter that crap for me, then what use are they?
All I can say is thank goodness I met my lovely bride and don't have to worry about that anymore. Ironically, our first encounters were over e-mail, but only because friends we know and trust gave us each other's address.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
jtmbls Anonymous
That is one issue I didn't encounter with the site. But what is up with that whole winking business? "So and so winked at you!!" Well...then so and so is a TOOL! If you don't have the the nads to actually say something, buh bye! If some guy I didn't know winked at me in real time, he would instantly be banished to either perv or cheeseball status. Nothing worse than a wink…except maybe a grunt.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
BobS Anonymous
Pavel, I think we all agree. You should stay on your PC.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
AnnMarie Wilson Verified
The older we are, the harder it gets - fact of life (especially for women).
I'm the ONLY female in my circle of friends with a SO (what DO we refer to them as at this age? Boy/girl friend sounds trite, lover - not the full picture, not a spouse by choice), and have been the only one for a very long time.
The male friends all remarried very, very, VERY rapidly after their divorces; the women.... well few have even tried dating again.
What does that say about us!
My relationship hasn't exactly been smooth sailing (you do not put two very strong willed, creative people - with active brain cells - together and not expect the occasional fireworks to go off!), but there are firmly grounded common interests, mutual respect, and same ethic/moral/political/religion beliefs in play.
Oh and the fact neither wants to ever remarry and we live 5 minutes apart! It's a bit strange for most folks, but it sure works for us.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Scott Doyle Verified
Maybe I'm alone on this, but it's just another way to meet people...not a different realm of dating. Y'all make it sound like I'm going to e-marry a girl, mail her my sperm, watch on a webcam as doc artificially inseminates her, etc.
jtm indirectly makes a good point, imo. You have to weed out the chumps one way or another; can save yourself a lot of time and money by pre-qualifying. Not to mention, if she's inept on a computer I have zero interest. At the very least, this probably weeds out 10% of the feesh in the sea. Every little bit helps.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
xdavidwattsx Anonymous
You're not alone ScoD, didja read my post earlier? You can vet a lot of people quite well via the interwebs. A lot better than vetting people through a drunken haze.
1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
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