DC Anonymous

Food: 2/5  Vibe: 4/5  Service: 2/5  Value: 2/5  Overall: 3/5

It's been some time since the soft opening, so we think it's about time to give it a proper go.

We toss off the valet and park at a meter. Since we have a 7:30 reservation and I am actually very ready to eat, we're there at 7:29. Outside we're greeted by some guy who looks like Tyrone Biggums. Guess the crowd in Pegasus Square hasn't changed much.

In any case, once we're inside, I'm impressed. There are two dining areas, one darker to the left, one lighter in the middle and and a bar area to the right. Clean tile with minimalist perpendicular lines greatly appeals to my design aesthetic.

We are promptly seated and within a minute our server asks what we would like to drink and if we would care for an appetizer. Unfortunately at this time, we have yet to see the menu. After a gentle reminder, he fetches them for us and tells us about the specials including a tortilla soup and grilled mako. Oh yeah, it's sushi grade. I start to ask the guy if he means that it meets the 'uniform parasite destruction guarantee' or what, but he walks off.

The room design has an interesting echoing effect on the space. Despite sitting amongst only 20-30 people, it sounds like a huge dining room. Interesting effect.

The sommelier asks us about wine selections and fetches us a pleasant if unremarkable chardonnay. The menu is simple, single sided and smart. Risotto does double time on several dishes as do a variety off the vegetable station. I'm impressed. From the looks of the offerings, they should have an efficient kitchen ready for profit. I would say to drop the tortilla soup and the mac and cheese. These dishes clearly don't fit the rest of the menu. Local flavor? Who cares - it doesn't work.

If only we would have known to have ordered in those first 45 seconds.

Our server is back at about 5 past 8. We order a half dozen of the market clams. He's not sure the species but thinks they're from Connecticut. We also go for the crispy lobster.

At this time, I am very hungry, like irritable hungry. The wine isn't doing much except exacerbating. The other patrons appear to have food, which I also find annoying. Even some crazy looking old dude in a Zubaz wind breaker has food.

At 8:17, food! Well, it's some dessicated crusty bread and oil for dipping. The bread is uniformly terrible, but I eat it anyway for carbohydrates.

It's about another 10-15 minutes before our appetizers arrive. The oysters are all right if they would have left them alone. Instead, each one has a topping of champagne based foam. It tastes unpleasant, sort of like Miracle Whip in the plastic containers. Come to think of it, do they still sell those or did the party scene kill the market? In any sort, I feel like there is an edible petroleum product in the ingredients. Yuck.

I will say the plate and service is beautiful. The shells are spectacular against a bed of rock salt.

At this time, I would also like to break to help out Dallas kitchens when they start breaking out the "tempura." Ok, here's how you do it: lightly mix your batter, but leave it lumpy! The flour will help with the crunch! Then, when you fry it, watch it! This way, it won't turn into a corn dog! Bring it out with a strainer, don't dump it out of the basket!

Unfortunately, I didn't have time for the above tutorial before this meal, so I got a mini lobster tail wrapped in doughy deep fryer materials. Shame to waste a living thing on bad tempura, people. It's served on cold risotto, but we'll see it again.

Our entrees arrive. Again, they're beautifully presented. We've decided to go for the Columbia River sturgeon and the mako special. I'm willing to eat shark steak, but I draw the line at shark fin soup. Discussion for another time.

I have a long history with the Columbia River, from taking cutthroat trout out of the headwaters in the B.C. interior to days in the Gorge I've spent a lot of time on its' waters. In fact, '93 at the Spring Creek Fish Hatchery, I attended my first professional windsurfing contest. Sleeping in a tent at Viento State Park and sailing the Columbia made for a great summer. However, I also learned the Columbia has been one of the most polluted waterways in North America. With this in mind, I wonder where along the Columbia this fish came from.

Earlier when our server was telling us about the special, he reported the mako came with a choice of three sauces, but I didn't actually get to choose. I ask which one I got and get a blank stare in return "oil? That's the one the chef likes best."

Ok, well, the vegetables are passable for something that could have been done on a George Foreman grill. The mako is fine if a little salty and the risotto I had earlier is back, but it's had a little time in the microwave. I don't bother getting into it with them on the pandering 'sushi grade' label they tacked on to this dish since I am still almost ready to pass out from hunger.

The sturgeon presents an interesting quandry. Between its' existence as a bottom feeding opportunistic fish and its' usual long life span, it can take on a strong flavor, not totally unlike catfish. However, most of that is in the grey flesh along the bottom of the filet and if you were to stick to the white flesh, the sturgeon is an excellent fish.

So, what to do? Serve the fish with all of its' flavo (u) r or stick to the delicate parts? In my opinion, I think the darker flesh overpowers what is really an exquisite fish and say get rid of it. DFM does not agree. The steak is also covered with a pepper, sorry 'poivre' sauce that has the consistency of very fine powder. I'm reminded of a mouthful of dust at a music festival.

Since we actually have a party to join, we have to pass on dessert since it's going on 9:30.

Damages, not including wine: about $96. What??

Would we be back? Well, yes. I do like the neighborhood and the space is really spectacular. The drink list looks great and the place doesn't smell offensive. Dinner destination? Not so much.

Our dinner ends with a discussion of the sadness that ends the meal. It's a beautiful place with a great looking menu and execution that just doesn't get it. I start to think maybe I'm just jaded over the whole thing, but when I think back to some recent meals at Ouest, Teppo, and Feenie's, no I don't think that's it. Hell, I even made a killer braised shank the other day. We just have to keep looking around here.

Thankfully, the rest of the weekend was a little more successful...

7 months ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

DC Anonymous

Yeah, for downtown joints worth a visit, you might want to think about Dakota's, but it's not the cheapest place around. Morton's will also give you a decent steak as long as you don't mind them twirling it around in front of you.

For sushi - Cafe Japan on Harwood has some of the best sushi in town at a reasonable price. The decor is...interesting, I suppose, but it's a hole in the wall that you won't catch otherwise.

Founder's Grill at the Hotel Lawrence isn't the most exotic of menus, but it is a little out of the way, and provided you aren't hit with conventioners, it's a quiet stop. It's relatively cheap, too.

The dining area at the Magnolia is a nice setting. Don't expect a lot of food, and it will be somewhat salty, but it's relatively pleasant.

Keep the costs down, enrich yourself and have a light dinner on a Thursday at the Nasher and finish with drinks later, maybe think Pearl for music and extra smoke.

Think you can take it from here?

1 year, 1 month ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

DC Anonymous

Depends on what style you're looking for and what you mean by downtown - something south of Woodall Rogers or including Uptown?

1 year, 1 month ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

DC Anonymous

Soft opening, you say? Sure, why not. I understand that they're not ready for the main event, but I'm up for fish and market.

We're greeted by an unexceptional hostess. A youngish looking trio is muddling through some classics. There's not a table in the place, but they're not open yet, right?

The other invitees definitely lean towards "uptown douche", with a couple of interesting interracially dreadlocked highlights here and there.

The bar seems to be the center of attention. There's vodka, wine and waters available. One woman and her two metro hangers on are intent on blocking access to the drinks. Whatever. Where's the food?

Number one: crab cakes! It's apparently King with a blood orange segment top. It's served at room temp - by design? Can't be sure. We're instructed to eat it in one bite. It's probably an inch and a half wide and two and a half high. Taking it down in one shot must be some kind of kitchen joke to screen potential stars in an adult film.

Number two: poke! A few cubes of tuna appear on a plastic spoon. A disinterested female Asian server tells us that they're disposable. This one you can take in one bite. It's so greasy and boring. No spice, just sesame oil and a what looks like a chip of Naan. So dull, it's almost remarkable! Tried another pass, and it was the same! Reproduceable mediocrity!

Number three: foie gras and cotton candy! This could have been good if the foie gras hadn't been sitting out for a couple of hours.

We look around for the market. Presumably it is outside as the current room has a total of zero coolers.

It's been about an hour, and by now I expected some kind of welcome chat and whatever, but noone's really interested to tell us about the place.

At least they have some time to work the kitchen over if this is the best they can do with an invitation event consisting of three dishes.

Personally, I was hoping for something a little more fun and a little less pretentious. Looks like we might be able to chalk this one up to be another link in the Luqa, Petrus, Clear, and now DFM chain. If this keeps up, it's going to be completely insufferable on that side of the street.

1 year, 1 month ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )