LAZËR

Hello to fanz and LAZËR haterz. Ourz bizness manager just call Rhineland saying there iz a controversing on PegNewz interwebsite, so pleaze allowing us to setting record straight:

First off, LAZËR practicing ourz muzikz every day uzing best technique for supreme focus and success. This include rehearsaling on abandon minefieldz and letting a man throw big knifez at our head for try to distract during performancez. Anyone questioning this probably have no earz, or never haz listen to Twatobahn.

Also, slave getting whipped onstage iz neither female nor male, it iz hermaphrodite. This iz why we callz it "herm" over 100,000 timez onstage, after show, in song "Enigmaz of Mystery" and in numerous interviewz you maybe haz heared.

*The LAZËR Guarantee: We NEVER will whipping a normal person, and that'z a promise!!!*

For conclude, writing babe iz just one of many girl who cannot think very good after having LAZËR virginity taken. Pleaze do not attacking Mz. Harp az we normally would having you do, slavez. She only iz guilty of doing a temporary insanity, so no hard feeling...

Pleaze directing any further question to info@lazertheband.com or www.facebook.com/LazerTheBand

Crow iz biting, Crow iz hurting.

Why this man iz so angry?

Lazer neither confirm nor deny this chargez.

Twatobahn '08

Bestest video everz!

Signed, Not Lazer

I just buyed Honchie CD and now I iz making a sex with girl from T3! Coincidence? I thinkz not./.adfds sorry, something getted on laptop keyzboard.

Hammel

This attack waz unprovoke and will be meeted with great resistance force.

Hammel of Lazer

Number 2 eh? I guess this mean we iz the sh!t.

I iz back and my crotch iz more healthy than everz!

Hammel

Crow'z advice: Don't tour in Texas.

Hello everybodiez,

Every song iz good, but I likez Lazer most becauze they iz really good peoplez. I don't know them, but I know they alwayz do good stuffz for charity, like giving poniez to paralyzed childrenz. They even maked a song about all racez coming together ("Dance for Racism" from their CD "Let Me Dance You," available now at www.LazerTheBand.com).

Honchie iz also very nice. One time I see Chuck take off tiger shirt and put it on top of puddle for old lady to walk on. James, Brad and Doug also gived T-Lark a muffin when he was in hospital with injured bottom from too much ass-DJing. If I wasn't going to vote for Lazer, I would probably do the voting for Honchie.

Bye, Not Lazer

Lazer iz definitely hottest band on this CD. I mean, sure The Feds iz famous and Honchie iz hilarious, but they cannot be doing the sexy dancing or dangerous rapping like Lazer. I iz just saying this as an objective observer.

Signed, Not Lazer

Thankz 4 sharing. Make your friendz download Let Me Dance You from iTunes so we can come do the show in L.A.